Today’s cabinet reshuffle has left certain parts of the Liberal Democrats sceptical about their role in the coalition government. Whilst Tory stalwarts Sir. Arthur Streeb-Greebling and Audrey fforbes-Hamilton have been moved to Fluffy Kittens and Nice Holidays respectively the current Lib Dem members of the cabinet have been rather forced into en masse into the new ‘super’ Ministry of Benefits, Pensions, Health and Taxation. Lib Dem MP (for Surbiton-Waitrose) Barbara Good has been outspoken in her wariness at her new brief which she claims mostly carries the responsibility for being booed at.
A spokesman for the cabinet officer was quick to scotch rumours regarding the divide of new cabinet positions, especially that of the new Minister of State for Scotland Ria Parkinson (MP for Butterflies) who will have sweeping powers to be responsible for Scottish devolution. ‘Mrs. Parkinson’s bloody tedious ongoing experiences she subjected us all too in the late 70s to early 80s on BBC2 will stand her in good stead when it comes to the Tory heartland looking to blame someone for the break-up of the United Kingdom’ said Sir Humphrey Appleby today. Likewise one has to presume for fellow Liberal Democrat MP Penny From-Just-Good-Friends who has been moved to the new Looting, Rioting, and Vikings office currently being relocated to Lindisfarne Abbey.
Former antiques dealer and Conservative MP for the extremely marginal Never-The-Twain seat Simon Peel has been moved to head up the newly formed Ministry of Football.
Frankly, modern government is becoming more like some bloody awful sitcom every day.