Tuesday 26 June 2012

More Lovebots

'Go away, I'm halfway through painting that Rush album on my wall'

Middle aged men thought to have read books when younger are set to demonstrate at the weekend over the shocking state of Britain. ‘The recession is a nod in the right direction,’ said cyberpunk aficionado Brian Tool, ‘but otherwise society has yet to descend into the urban chaos we were promised in the 1980s.’ Using the internet – which the lobby complains has been undermined by people who can’t spell – the march intends to force the government to be lot more secretive in its dealings with shadowy-corporations. Also for corporations to be a lot more shadowy. ‘Look,’ Mr Tool went on to say, ‘it’s no good if smart technology involving phones and personal computers has entered every pocket and every home if it then just becomes all too ordinary. I tried hacking into the local council database last year and a policeman came round and asked me to stop. He should have shot me.’
Whilst already the coalition have promised to unveil exciting new cyber-related initiatives set to reduce the home counties to something a bit more like Blade Runner by 2015, Labour leader Ed Milliways has been quick to point out that he sounds like something a bit like might have been in Hitch Hikers Guide To The Galaxy, ‘And that’s pretty cyber isn’t it?’ the leader of the opposition declared from inside his big leather trench coat.
Mr Tool, an IT Manager from Stevenage, has promised the virtual presence of millions at Parliament Square this Saturday, threatening that heads will roll when enough people like his proposal on Facebook. ‘When oh when will the so-called leaders of this country realise that what is lacking from society is a lot more pollution,’ then, ‘and chrome lovebots.’   


  1. Well we've definitely got the Blade Runner rain and closed down shopping centres and take away vans on every corner. Hoodies on bikes, old ladies with cats - oh no thats me - shortage of scrap metal and a prime minister with a shiny head who looks plastic.
    I'd prefer if we went for WestWorld myself. I did have a thing for Yul Bryner.

  2. You'd skip the faux-Roman robot orgy in order to be chased by the Terminator Mk.1?

    1. Well only 'cos he was Yul Brynner. We all have our weaknesses.