Thursday 12 January 2012

Science Blames Bond, Who Thumps It

007. 'For Mordor, James'

Deep breath now.
According to Yahoo the BBC said today that the President of the Royal Society of Chemistry (Prof David Philips) has claimed that ‘Bond villains are the reason the British public has a negative view of nuclear power’.
Dr Mince speaking for the Ares Society was quick to agree, adding his weight to the announcement by interrupting all news broadcasts to do so. “One can hardly put to sea in a submarine-eating ship, or take to the heavens in a satellite-eating rocket without some do-gooder squeaking on about shark tanks – as if that’s all we ever do.”
Dr Mince (a respected businessman and philanthropic mastermind) is perhaps best known for the furore over allegations recently that he used undue influence and financial enticements to have health and safety issues regarding a volcano, his head office, and running gun battles to just plain go away. The report that concluded in satisfaction that the volcano was not, as suggested, a volcano-eating volcano, missed the point according to some sources.
On the set of the twenty-third Bond film prune-faced leading man Wilfred Bramble today had no comment to make. The latest outing for Britain’s number-one spy (already reported here as following on in the series from beating the fuck out of everyone in the first of the reboot, to beating the fuck out of everyone else in the second, to now beating the fuck out of anything left in this the third) is set to be released later this year. Early reports suggest that the villain is some sort of science, probably bad science, and that it will probably get its fucking head beaten in, for England.  

1 comment:

  1. I thought Sid James plays James Bond and Hylda Baker Plays EM?

    Snotty nosed git and guitar wrangler The Mighty Brian Cox is to play Q. He should be able to deal with any threat posed by science, since he now apparently owns the copyright.