Wednesday 25 January 2012


Demi Moore has been rushed to hospital, according to the news today, suffering... well, whatever it says is probably a little far from the truth. Moore a high priest in Egypt circa 1290 BC having been sealed in a big stone box with hungry beetles returned in the early 80s to wreck revenge on the disturbers of her rest, and also to mope about a lot in St Elmo’s Fire. Her flesh once fresh when stolen in the early 80s it has increasingly calcified to the point where now she is a living statue, typically with an expression like a slapped arse.
Described by John Hughes as ‘Difficult to work with, commanding, irritatingly reliant on the life force of others, with hooters’ Moore originally slated to appear in the Breakfast Club as the Dead Girl lost out in the role to Alley Sheedy after being backed off the set with the aid of the Book Of The Dead, and revolvers.
Demi Moore was not available for comment to reporters earlier today who were subsequently chased off by a ferocious sand storm and the ghosts from the end of Raiders Of The Lost Ark.


  1. And NOW Rhodri knows how to conclusively deal with Penny...

  2. There're definite legs to this one, what with Roger and Patrick Moore. I did take out a reference to 'That'll keep him in curry' as I thought the Octopussy line would be lost on everyone but your good self.

  3. Last time Demi Moore manifested in Kingston I scared her off with my pet cat Tiggy. Never fails!

  4. They load themselves down with Springfield carbines and former navy issue cutlasses, but when it comes to corners and mummies the Kingston Mk3 scratch-repating moggie wins every time. Too many explorers let themselves down with their lack of domestic pets.