Thursday 14 July 2011

The Ageless Beauty of Elves

Ah, elves. Beloved of people who probably have sex with their cats, elves! The image of at best your granny sweeping about in a ball gown disturbs people not at all, well some people. It’s their otherworldly beauty of course.

Gah! Their wisdom, which like that of all old people will revolve mostly around hating the young and how much better things were in the good old days. This all-knowing and ethereal wisdom all presented by liquid voices (they echo in the bathroom) and an ageless...

...AH, no! Jesus! Slim as a panatela and dry as a Jacobs Cracker, who doesn’t like skinny smug people? Skinny, smug, old people with their soft, silent elven farts and that special kind of idle racism you encounter by surprise like pin mould in the jam you spread on your toast late the night before. But yes, of course, if not the elves then?

...AGH! Get some orcs, get some ORCS