I’ve
been asked again when it was I first met Mme Roux?
` I was thinking about this only the
other day. I was thinking about it because twice over that day I saw Angel. Not an
angel, but a girl I used to know. Her name might well have actually been that,
or been something entirely different – there’s no reason to suppose it derived
or was shortened from anything. This was somewhere circa 1990. I was living on
the Elephant back then, Castle that is. On the Rockingham, one of those estates from
the 50s where the urban slums and bomb sites were bulldozed and remade into
entirely new slums. In the right light they look somewhat Art Deco, but that
has to be a very strong light - and the only time bright lights ever shone in
such estates is when someone from The Bill would be filmed arresting a
blister-mouthed single-mum prostitute-illiterate cliché. Her name then was
Angel, and that was nothing odd as you have to understand that later that summer
I had a good mate called Helle and my girlfriend as-then-unmet was called Grit
(and both of those were their real names). I knew a couple more called Tizer
and Xerox (and those were not). I met Angel on the tube coming back from a cave
where I’d worked, and we got talking because back then if you had the leather
jacket, and the para boots, and the squat-sink washed clothes you knew each
other, even if you had only just met. I knew Angel for eight days, we were
friends pretty quickly, and then she was gone. No one knew her, no one remembered
her, no one had ever heard of her (and in that scene someone always knew someone,
who knew someone).
I saw Angel twice the other day, once
on a forum on line, once in the local high street as I crossed the road. Not
Angel as was then, but both times someone that looked so like Angel as she
would have been had she hit middle age too. The same long face, the same mass
of tangled, curly hair, tall, rangy. It wasn’t her in the first, and in the
second the woman was jogging and, well, you don’t call out to strangers after
dark do you? That would be creepy. So it wasn’t Angel, but I hadn’t thought on
her for twenty odd years. And that’s why I thought too on Mme Roux. Not
stealing my biscuits as now but when I first met her. Or the second time; I don’t
remember the first (though she assures me it is true).
It was a memorable day.
I remember it because as a young man
and pretty I woke up in one bed, went asleep in another and made close acquaintance with a third girl on
the train (the one before the tube where I met Angel). I want to be clear here
that this was unusual. I am by nature a serial monogamist. My life, but for
that one summer, has been one of long relationships, years each. I am not and
have never been a player. I didn’t cut marks in my bedpost then, I certainly
don’t now. I can’t abide leches. Just so we’re clear on that. It was
nonetheless a memorable day; you’ll give me that one.
And on that day I first met Mme
Roux. I was late and hurrying for the train, to get to a cave. I’m never late
and in truth I wasn’t then either, but I wasn’t early which for me is much the
same. It was a warm morning. London no longer sees the pea-soupers but it can
possess a fug, a half seen fog of heat and exhaust fumes, the ghosts of Friday
night and most importantly a thick presence made by the brief absence of almost
anyone. That slither of a moment between the return of some and the rise of
others. It’s a weekend thing. Warm, and I was hurrying and Mme Roux fell in
step with me and chatted away as if we were old friends, which might have been
true, or she thought I was someone else – or it was that London thing of the
time in the culture that was counter where everyone just assumed you were a
friend of a friend anyway. Only Mme Roux did not fit this mould. Her leather
was cracked and brown. She wore neither ratty jumper nor punky t-shirt. Her skirts
were long, not short, and they did not cover hoop tights even if she did wear
practical boots. In her case though they were practical for walking (not practical
for jumping out of Dutch airplanes). Her hair was short, plain, and she wasn’t
wearing make-up. She was, I remember thinking, therefore a Christian out to save
a few souls. They tried that at the time, they might do still.
She walked with me, in step, and
quickly then. She gave me a cup of tea. It was in a mug, I recall that
because it was a mug and a mug is something from the home although it was big,
chipped, off white and ceramic. The tea was luke-warm, wet and sweet. Not like
Mme Roux at all. We walked and she chatted about people I did not know, though
she disagreed with me on that. I remember thinking how old she was, well into
her thirties – I was just into my twenties at the time. I was walking quickly I
say again and when we came close to Guy’s Hospital just before the station she
grabbed me by the scruff of the neck and yanked me back from the road. At that
moment a motorbike took the corner too quick, barely righted itself and roared
away. Right where I would have been. She gives me a cigarette and a twenty
pound note. She patted me on the cheek and left me stood there confused and
aghast. And that was the first time I remember meeting Mme Roux. I had serious
thoughts about that on the train; it was all very guardian angel. But Mme Roux was
and is no angel. Though on the same day I met a girl called Angel.
You remember days like that.
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