The Woolworths-Armstrong Contrawinding Sonic Hound Gun
HMV
has called in the receivers after 91 years of business, putting 4500 jobs at
risk and doubtless seeing the removal of the last of the great-big-record-shops
from the high street. It seems that people no longer wish to buy a proper
wind-up gramophone and despite attempts to keep up with the changing market
place by stocking a liquid ton of crap CDs, dog sleds, stout corduroy britches
for lady explorers, and biscuit tins, the doors look set to close.
The chain has been criticised for
not reflecting the modern culture for music, mostly by charging for it. ‘The
customer expects to get music for free,’ a statement released today describes, ‘from
the downloady interweb thing. Musicians aren’t doing proper work and should not
expect to get paid for it, what with everyone else’s girlfriends in their beds,
and all the weasel glands they can eat stuffed up their bums. Or whatever it is
that musicians do; live on watery beans and stolen tea bags if everyone has
their way.’
This is the latest in the fight back
against the arts. For too long have la-de-dah artists been able to swan about
in big shirts consuming wine and making stuff that gives people something to
spend their money on, and ever since commercial artists and writers have had
their pay capped at a kick in the nuts musicians have now inevitably followed.
No final decision has yet been taken
and it is thought that the chain might be reduced, the brand saved, according
to liquidation accountants as they beat assorted Fraggles to a fluffy paste with
hammers.
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