New plans have been unveiled to answer the call for England to leave Europe.
Reacting to pressure brought through comments by on every news story on Yahoo (ever) the Prime Minister is rumoured to be announcing a historical break with the continent in the new year. Such plans go back many years of course, with the erection of giant propellers across anywhere in the British Isles (that previously had a good view) now having reached a sufficient number to propel Britain like a colossal swamp buggy about the globe. The idea is said to have come from Live And Let Die, or The Man With The Golden Gun, or Roger Moore anyway – whichever one it was where Bond flew around in a swamp, raft, buggy thing. Unless that was a speedboat (and I quote).
The monumental cost of the project to move Britain out of Europe and into another continent has been offset by the whole being filmed as the central theme of this year’s (still under wraps) Top Gear special. In the two hour spectacular Jeremy Clarkson grumbles mightily about Europe, Richard Hammond falls off things and won’t eat the food, and in a surprise win for James May the home-counties are moved in a small circle with the aid of the world’s largest elastic band.
It only remains for the Government to decide which continent Britain will eventually tie up to (and which is not Europe). A further rumour persists however that in the event of none of them being quite right Britain will ‘form its own continent somewhere not too hot, and preferably in the past’.
Also, we won the cricket.