Austerity measures, impact felt on briefcases
‘Hello Mr (Osbourne) this is an important message, please don’t hang up. Recent government legislation means that if you took out a loan in the last three years and did not ask for payment protection then you could be owed money.’
‘Loans you say? Well currently we are looking at 5.9 billion, a decrease since... but the last three years you say?’ Tappity-tap, rifle, snortle, sound-of-spoon in glass of Eton mess. Muffled squeal of delight. A balloon inflates. A cork pops. A trad-jazz band hastily sets up. The Pogues Fiesta erupts across the land.
The country is saved.