Tuesday 6 December 2011

Chancellor Saves British Economy!

Austerity measures, impact felt on briefcases

‘Hello Mr (Osbourne) this is an important message, please don’t hang up. Recent government legislation means that if you took out a loan in the last three years and did not ask for payment protection then you could be owed money.’
‘Loans you say? Well currently we are looking at 5.9 billion, a decrease since... but the last three years you say?’ Tappity-tap, rifle, snortle, sound-of-spoon in glass of Eton mess. Muffled squeal of delight. A balloon inflates. A cork pops. A trad-jazz band hastily sets up. The Pogues Fiesta erupts across the land.
The country is saved.


  1. Why do ALL those suited wankers now do the same Blair hand gesture? Fingers together, thumb up, indicating "going forward" or somesuch non-English phrase. Must play well with ad agencies, I guess.

  2. That's an Action Man. Not an original mind, not with flock hair and the first-gen stiff plastic hand. Either that or he's also making a gun noise, but like a girl. You just liked him better in Auf Wiedersehen Pet.

  3. He looks like he's shaking hands with a very tall invisible man.

  4. It's an unfortunate shot as the hands and head make him look very Gerry Anderson*.

    Of course, I chose the shot, but...

    *As opposed to Gillian Anderson. Who's playing Miss Havisham** this Christmas in Great Expectations. I'd never considered that the problem with Great Expectations was that there weren't enough hawt babes in it. That's a bit like casting Anna Friel as Granny Weatherwax.

    **Dickens notes she is fifty-something, but time and horror have made her a 'cross between a waxwork and a skeleton'. Hmmm, foxy.