The BBC has been forced to issue a statement of astonishment after the Daily Muddy’s renowned team of investigative journalists uncovered a web of deceit and falsehood, weaselling out information from the BBCs own website. Given entirely openly in an article published there, the Daily Muddy heralded their own hard work, nylon underpants and grubby, unwashed socks in obtaining such please-read information, clearly being openly hidden by the BBC for all to see.
Dickie Attenborough himself has been forced to apologise for scenes in the Great Escape where Charles Bronson as Danny The Tunnel King digs a big tunnel. ‘Of course the footage was staged, lovey. Stalag Luft III was bulldozed sixty years ago.’
The Muddy has decided that there is outrage over things being staged, or not being true, or LIES!! As their hacks would have it, stabbing at their keyboards with a pencil due to their fat, drink-bloated fingers. The Muddy, smelling of egg sandwiches, in a Tupperware box, at school, in the summer, later also found out that the BBC did not put a cameraman in the same room as a mother polar bear giving birth to a pup. David Attenborough (at whose feet this has been laid) is quoted as saying in reply, ‘Have a word with yourself, It’s a fucking polar bear, with its cubs, you tool.’
The Muddy has yet to reply, tasting somewhat like licking an old penny, sweat under the fingernails, matted armpit hair, eyebrow dandruff, and digging through the bin to pick out fag ends from the coffee grinds to try and get a smoke from a light, off the grill.