Amidst news of society itself collapsing, the arrival of the end times, bloody revolution and kids running around - perhaps the saddest tale of robbery is that visited upon the old shop of Miss Emily Firmin, Postgate Street, Quarter Past One Street (after the lunchtime news). The shop did not sell anything: instead Emily would find lost and broken things and display them in the window of the shop, so their owners could one day come and collect them.
Sadly this ended yesterday after nearly forty years of rather odd business when a bunch of fourteen year olds skipping a beat on adrenalin and possessed of pack lunacy broke the windows before running about with no particular destination in mind. Miss Firmin (obviously distraught) has tearfully declared the theft of a ship in a bottle, a cushion showing owls, a frog princess, a ballet shoe, a tartan porcupine pincushion, a nodding turtle, an elephant missing its ears, a mouse mill, a statuette of a small giant, a tangly plant, a basket and a rag doll house. Only the smallest violin in the world was left, almost certainly without any idea of irony.